63) her or her and him Written by Rainer: rainer.lehrer@yahoo.com Learn languages (via Skype): Rainer: + 36 20 549 52 97 or + 36 20 334 79 74

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her or her and him She quickly bought some chewing gum, although she never actually chewed any. Her friends did it to mask the smell of cigarettes, or when they wanted to quit smoking, otherwise she thought it looked like ruminating cows. But she needed it now because she was very excited. They had met for weeks, but today, she should be conquered. Or did she want to gain him for her? The result is actually the same, the problems start later: Who decides? Whose will is fulfilled? A relationship is not a democratic institution. The question here is who loves the other more, is more emotionally dependent, or is more afraid of losing the other. She was now 27 years old, some of her friends were already married, some even divorced, luckily there were no children there. Her mother had also asked her when she could finally take care of her grandchildren. But was her mother really happy or did she just want to forget about the problems of her own marriage? Her mother had married very young, the first child had come very early. You couldn't talk to her about sex because it was taboo. She would have liked to ask her mother why she no longer slept in the same bed with her husband, or how it had been in the beginning, or whether it had been nice at all. As these thoughts shot through her head, she came closer and closer to the dating place, and even if she went slowly, she would arrive 5 minutes early. Hadn't she learned that the man should be kept waiting for at least 10 minutes, Marilyn Monroe had said: "The longer they wait, the more they applaud." Or maybe they should start the relationship on a completely new basis. Her father was a typical macho with complexes that were about as typical. The one she was supposed to meet today was very different, calmer, almost a bit feminine. But at least, he understood her better than these very masculine types who hardly knew what to begin with women. One of her friends had just caught a South Italian and raved: "Finally a real man!" But from the outside, things looked very different, just a tyrant who commanded her around, and the famous temperament was nothing else than jealousy. Her friend couldn't even go out with girlfriends anymore, and for aerobic training, she had to go to a club only for women. There were very funny, or maybe rather strange, situations at work. It was a large office building, the main entrance worked automatically, but one had to pull and push the smaller glass doors. One could often see the confusion of the men when they approached such a door and a woman came towards them on the other side. If the man now opened the door for the woman in a friendly way, there were two possible reactions: Either she thanked him and thought: "Someone who sees the woman in me." Or she looked at him angrily because he did not want to see the colleague in her. Or he just got through the door first and there were two other possible reactions: she looked at him angrily because he didn't respect the woman in her, or they passed each other indifferently because they were "only" colleagues. Emancipation had not only brought good things. Innovations always lead to confusion at first, until both parts have got used to the new conditions. Sometimes she liked being a woman and sometimes she was a full colleague. She had been living alone since she separated from her first boyfriend. There were no expectations, but no one was waiting for her in the evening. But this waiting had mostly been about when dinner finally came on the table, and he hadn't helped that much around the house. Now she could cook whenever she wanted to. The truth was, however, that she had seldom been cooking since then. When her mother found out that the relationship was over, she was initially shocked, saying that her daughter still had to learn how to live together with a man. Then, the avalanche of hatred came against her ex-boyfriend: "How could he leave you? Doesn't he have a heart?” Her mother didn't know that it was actually her daughter's decision to end the relationship. Although her mother was not happy at all in her marriage, she could not imagine leaving her husband and her misfortune. For her that was the normal fate of the woman, rather unhappy together than unhappy alone, there was no other way. Now she heard a voice from outside, he had addressed her, she had arrived. Back to list!

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