86) the old Written by Rainer: rainer.lehrer@yahoo.com Learn languages (via Skype): Rainer: + 36 20 549 52 97 or + 36 20 334 79 74

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The old A group of young people sat around him, and he talked about his voyages, sometimes a bit like Sindbad, but of course not quite as fantastic. Did his audience notice when he was exaggerating or even playing things down? Especially the first 10 years, from 18 to 28 years old, were interesting for them. At times it sounded like an action movie. However, the advice he could give was not from that era. These adventurous years only formed the basis for what would later become the conclusions. What happened was mostly very simple and at that time only had the effect of a shock on him, the real understanding came much later. How many times, for example, had he received a slap in the face where he merely noticed that a certain type of person or situation could have unpleasant effects on body and mind. But why he had received this treatment often only became clear to him much later. On the one hand, because in his eyes it was unjustified, and on the other hand, because it often only served to suppress the complex of inferiority of the hitting person by the humiliation of the slapped person. Today he faced exactly those big, fat, effeminate people, but now they were afraid of him. They only recognized that he could be dangerous to them, but they did not understand why he was fighting them. They were still at the level of a teenager. But had he really learned it himself? He tried to be fair, but couldn't always tame his anger enough. Often he had to think a lot why something was happening, and in later, similar situations, he was then able to react appropriately. But when the unexpected happened, it often provoked an inappropriate response in him. Especially the small ones around him saw in him a hero and had no idea how many doubts and uncertainties were hidden behind this calm. On the other hand, of course, he enjoyed being recognized and trusted. He deliberately took the side of the small ones (if you want to be big, stand next to the small ones.), who of course all hid when things got tough and only reappeared when the air was clear again. The greatest doubts came to him when he asked himself, with what right he was doing it. Of course, it was seldom possible to give a satisfactory answer to this almost philosophical question. Or why didn't these small ones all stick together? Then they would not need a big one or a leader. They lacked self-esteem. Both the oppressor and the oppressed actually came from the same brood. If they were the big, they would likely be as merciless as their oppressors would. They weren't a bit better than the others. Was it all senseless? What made him go on? And then, was the recognition of such people worth it? Back to list!

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