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95)
incomprehensible
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incomprehensible
A family with two children, the
father a normal, skilful craftsman, the mother a cashier in a department
store, the daughters studied with average results in middle school. The
family rented a small apartment on the outskirts of the city, in which each
daughter had her own small room. At nineteen and twenty, the children moved
out either to be with a partner or to start their own lives on their own.
The father bought a trailer to
realize his childhood dream of traveling all over Europe with his wife. They
were now fifty, in their heyday, spent their summer holidays in their caravan
in Scandinavia and their winter holidays in Greece, southern Italy or
southern Spain. They had done this for three years when the woman had a heart
attack at work.
Every day, he was in the hospital,
bringing her flowers, as in the early days of their relationship, reading to
her, entertaining her, or telling her about the plans he was making for the
next trip. The doctors warned him that his wife needed constant care and rest.
Did that mean they couldn't travel anymore? They spent their first winter
vacation at home. At Christmas the daughters came and praised the father
because they couldn't come every day to take care of their mother, especially
because they had a life of their own. In the summer, they drove the caravan
to the Baltic Sea because he had rebuilt the moving house so that it was suitable
for it. One time she felt well, another time, it was worse. Sometimes she
laughed too, especially when he was joking. But overall, traveling was now an
agony for her.
And then she had her second heart
attack, exactly at sunset, when they had to drive over a bit of a bumpy
stretch to find a nice place to stand for the camp. He called the ambulance.
They came by helicopter because of the road conditions. Now he knew what he
had suspected before but didn't want to admit to himself. Although his wife
was very sick, she wanted to live and when she woke up in the hospital and
saw him next to her, she was happy and sad at the same time. She knew that if
they left, she would die and that she would kill him if she asked him to stay
home. When they were young, on a motorcycle trip, he had told her that he
didn't want to die in the apartment and even less in bed. He never sat in
front of the television, avoided books from afar, did sports of all kind and
spent most of his time in the fresh air, even in summer preferred to sleep in
the garden than in the house.
When she was released from the
hospital and he took her home, she was not happy. They had spent almost
thirty years together, he had always been devoted to her, loved her, but she
saw him wither in a few weeks like a flower without water. And one evening,
when he was just coming out of the garage because he was repairing something
on the trailer, she said to him: “I can no longer watch you suffer more from
my illness than I do! It's probably best if you get out of my life and we
both give each other the opportunity to be happy with someone else. Or maybe
we don't need anyone to live contentedly and balanced. I can't go out of your
life because I can't move anymore and I don't want to die. I put the burden
of the decision on your shoulders.
After that, they did not speak to
each other for days. Then one morning he was gone. Nobody knew where he had
gone or what he was doing. He had broken off contact with all family members,
relatives and friends. "Understand? So, nobody would have understood him
anyway! And he knew there was no point trying to explain it to anybody."
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Sonntag, 9. August 2020
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